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March 21
Hello
everyone,
Last
week, Darren's aide was sick and did not come on Thursday or Friday,
so my schedule was a little off track. I had hoped to write an
update then, but never did get to it. So here's one now!
The
most exciting news lately was received in the mail on Saturday.
William Paterson University is offering Darren
a full tuition academic scholarship! That is SO wonderful! Of
course, he is still considering Ramapo and Montclair, and
we have to see which campus best fits his needs, but what an offer!
We are so proud of him.
Tonight,
he takes his mid-term exam for his on-line Philosophy course, so
we'll see how that goes. And he's thinking of taking one or two
summer courses as well.
Last
week was a busy week, with Darren having a few medical appointments
in addition to his therapy. The good news is that the visits and
tests for urology and radiology all came up clear - no problems. No
urology issues, and no blood clots, a constant worry. Thank
goodness.
Not
so good was Ari's report from her knee surgeon. She has developed a
lot of scar tissue, and is not able to straighten or bend her knee
as she should by now. So frequent stretching and riding a stationary
bike, in addition to therapy 5 days a week, has us both a little
crazy. Her in terms of the pain she's in, and me for the scheduling
aspect. Sometimes I feel like I need a secretary to keep
all of this straight! And she's still being treated for the TMJ as
well. But if she really works her knee for the next 2 weeks, it
should improve. At least the doctor said it was not as bad as other
knees he's seen with the same kind of problem. More prayers,
please, for Arianne!
On
one of the spinal cord websites I frequent, I read about a book that
uses land and water exercises to improve a person's recovery
process. I bought a copy and was so excited reading about the
recovery of some of the people this doctor has treated. There are no
guarantees, of course, but the book is written is such a positive
and encouraging way, that its hard not to get excited about it.
Following the ideas in this book, together with hiring a personal
trainer, will be a new focus for Darren and something new to
motivate him. I am still waiting to hear whether we can use the pool
at Cedar Crest, so as soon as that happens, we can get him in the
water and see what he can do. It will be so good for him to stretch
his muscles, float and whatever else he is capable of. Then as soon
as the weather is nice enough for us to use our own pool, he can be
in the water that much more. As with any exercise routine for all of
us, keeping it fresh and changing it up a bit is very
worthwhile.
An
announcement to all you GOLFERS out there! The Newton Country Club
is hosting their annual charitable tournament on Tuesday, June
14th. A
portion of the proceeds will be split among three recipients, and
Darren will be one of those. Thanks to our good
friends, Lucille and Ralph Rathyen (and Darren's
Godfather, too!), Darren has been included. Here are the details
that I know so far: Date is Tuesday, June 14th. Cost will be
approx. $100. It is for men and women golfers, and will include a
barbeque lunch followed by a prime rib dinner in the evening with a
2 hour open bar. People can participate in the tournament and the
dinner or just attend the dinner for a lesser fee. Golfers will get
a cart, and there will be prizes and a hole-in-one prize (possibly a
car). I don't know about the cost of just the dinner yet.
More details will follow, but please set aside the date if you are
interested. We are trying to figure out if Darren can ride in a golf
cart that day.....we'll see! In the meantime, any questions can be
directed to Lucille at lural@optonline.net.
While
it seems like we are in a holding pattern right now with Darren's
condition and progress, we remain hopeful that there is still
healing to come. With the support of our family and friends, and
especially Darren's "best buds" who have been wonderful, I know we
can remain positive and do everything we can to promote healing and
recovery.
With
love, hope and prayers,
Cynthia
March 28
Hello
everyone,
There
was so much going on this past week, that I had to make myself a
list to follow before composing this e-mail. Hopefully I'll get it
all in!
Last
Tuesday was a very hard day for Darren. Some negative comments from
his PT at Kessler when Darren was excitedly telling him about the
Burdenko Method of land and water exercises (they don't tell you
about all the people the program doesn't help, the therapist had the
nerve to point out. Like we don't know that ourselves....), then a
fall backward while in his chair practicing wheelies (the
OT walked away and Darren didn't know it). So it was a not a good
day, but we talked al lot about positive thinking, good attitude and
not letting others bring us down. No one is going to take our hope
away.
Wednesday
brought Darren's birthday, and also the 8th month anniversary of his
injury. A much more positive day, as while Darren was at a massage
therapist, she could feel his left hamstring contract. Yea! What
wonderful news. I could feel it also, and so could Darren. Then on
his back, she was massaging and manipulating a muscle in the pelvic
area, and his left leg moved while she was doing that - exactly what
she said "should" happen. More good news! Wednesday also brought a
snowstorm that I feared might keep his friends away, (I planned a
small surprise party) but of course, it did not! We had dinner, cake
and then they played poker into the wee hours of the next morning.
I'd like to take a moment here to mention how wonderful Darren's
friends are and have been. It is a testimony to their personalities
and their concern for Darren, and also to their upbringing that they
have been here for Darren every step of the way. What a great bunch
of young men. I am happy to have them around, even if it is until 2
am!
Thursday
was a better day at therapy. Darren chose not to address the two
incidents on Tuesday, preferring to see what happens in the future.
He knows now to check and double-check if someone is behind him now
practicing wheelies, though!
My
sister, Michele, drove Darren to Kessler on Friday, so that gave
them some time together, which was nice. That afternoon,
John & I went furniture shopping in Paramus to find bedroom furniture for Darren's
old room, which is now pretty empty after moving most of his
furniture into the new room. We were successful, so that was a good
use of time. Thanks, Michele!
On
Saturday, we went to see the Big Apple Circus in Bridgewater
with the Gordon family. We didn't know what to expect, but it was
great! The talents and skills were pretty awesome, from the
jugglers, to the acrobats and the gymnasts. From a guy juggling
ping-pong balls from his mouth (really!) to another balancing
porcelain vases (big ones!) on his head, it was quite entertaining.
So thanks for the idea, Carol. We all had a good time.
Right
after the circus, we headed to the Bantam Hockey Team's end-of-year
party, where the kids and parents were gathered for food and fun. It
was a very nice party, where the parents had wonderful things to say
about Darren's participation in the program this year. I told them
that Darren enjoyed working with their kids as much as the kids
enjoyed having Darren around, so it was a win-win situation. They
are trying to recruit him to help coach the spring season....we'll
see!
Arianne
went with me to Church on Sunday, and I was very happy about that.
Of course, it was very crowded, being Easter Sunday, and I was able
to introduce her to a few people that I now see each week. It was a
very nice service, and nice to chat with friends afterward. Later in
the afternoon, we headed to my sister's for dinner, and had a nice
relaxing afternoon/evening with good food, a few games and Darren's
birthday celebration. Of course, we sang, took pictures and he blew
out candles. He doesn't put up much of a fuss to indulge his
mother's wishes............it was a very nice day all
around.
Well,
I think I did what we warn our kids not to - I ate too much candy
yesterday! My stomach wasn't feeling too good, but then neither was
my head and throat, so I needed a little extra rest today. I feel
OK, but not great, just hoping some sun will come out and cheer me
up. We could all use that!
So
much for our last week. As I said, lots going on. I think this week
will be a bit less busy, but with a full weekend coming up - visits
to both William Paterson and Montclair, and a gathering of our
Devils friends Saturday night. So we'll make up for a
less-than-hectic week on Saturday and Sunday. But it will be good
stuff!
Some bits of information - After Friday, April 15th,
Darren will be going to Kessler only 2 times a week, Tues and
Thursdays. So if there's anyone available to help drive on Tuesdays,
I will accept all offers! Its a bit of a longer day on Tuesday,
since Darren goes to the fitness center at Kessler after therapy,
but we usually get back to Kinnelon by 4:30. If you can help, that
would be great. Just e-mail me directly, though, at cynthiat@optonline.net.
Second,
the bank account has been set up for the trust created for Darren.
So anyone that's been holding onto funds that were raised for him,
we have a place at last to put them! Thank you for your patience,
and of course, for raising them to begin with! The thanks we have
for everyone who has been involved from the very beginning is
never-ending. We hope you all know how much we appreciate your
efforts.
I
think this might be my longest e-mail update yet! As always, I enjoy
writing and sharing what's going on here at 8 Honeysuckle
Lane. It helps me keep things in
perspective, reminds me of all the good and positive things that
happen over the course of a week, and keeps me in touch with those
who care about Darren (and all of us, too!).
Until
next time, with love, hope and prayers,
Cynthia
March
30
Hello-I know you all haven’t heard from me in a long
time. I’ve been quite busy, but now I’m getting back into the swing
of things. A few of you may remember the name Paul Rudat, a teenager from upstate New York who
had a similar injury to Darren’s. He was getting his rehab at the
Shepherd Center in Atlanta, where we eventually wound
up. Our family became very close with Paul, and his Mom, Jean.
Eventually the boys were roommates, until Paul was able to return
home. He’s been progressing steadily at home, and right now they are
planning on having what we refer to as the “Portugal Procedure”
done. (For information about the procedure, go here: http://www.freep.com/news/health/ericanader4e_20050104.htm)
However, their family needs to raise about $50,000 in
order for any of this to happen. They are planning a huge
garage/yard sale for a weekend in June, and pepping it up with food,
entertainment, and hayrides. I am going up to visit them this
weekend, and since it was such a last minute plan, I’m asking for
some last minute help. If anyone has anything that they are willing
to donate to this wonderful cause, please let me know. I would
really love to pull up to their house with a carload of stuff for
them. I do need everything before Friday afternoon though. If there
is any way that anything could be dropped off at my house, or
somehow that I could pick stuff up, please let me know! The easiest
way to reach me is by my cell phone: 201.400.5383, or if you just
want to drop something off before Friday afternoon, just call the
house line at 973.492.1654, or email me directly at atempleton@optonline.net I would
really appreciate anything that you would be willing to donate, and
I know Paul and his family would also. Thank you SO
much!
Love always, Ari
April 5, 2005
Thank you to everyone who donated stuff for Paul’s
yard sale. My truck was filled when I drove up to NY State on
Friday, and it was great to unload everything into their garage.
Paul and his family were so appreciative of all the stuff, and so am
I. So thank you to everyone who did donate something. If you are
interested in Paul’s progress, you can check out his website at
www.paulspath.com. They will be keeping updates on the track of the
Portugal Procedure, as well, if anyone is interested. Thank you
again!
Love
always, Ari
Hello everyone! This is a “two-for”
email……..
I
hope you are enjoying the extra long days. Spring is finally
here and now it feels like it! I have attached the info on the
benefit golf outing at Newton Country Club that Cindy mentioned in
her previous email
.
Please open the
attachments… even if you do not golf, the dinner is sure to be
fantastic. I have been to outings at Newton before
and they do a wonderful job. Please contact Ralph or Lucille
at (973) 697-2789,
if you have
any questions, would like to donate a prize, or anything else
relating to the golf outing and dinner on June
14th.
Best
regards,
Medora
April
13
Hi
everyone! Well, I can hardly remember what I wrote last, but I do
know that Ari went to Rochester with a car full of
treasures for our friend Paul's upcoming garage sale. They were very
appreciative, so I extend my thanks to all of you who contributed.
It was a good thing she didn't ask too far ahead; she wouldn't have
been able to fit everything! But she had a great trip and it was
good for her to see Paul and his family.
Everything
lately seems rather uneventful next to the latest, greatest news
from Darren - after his right leg and foot spasms, then the spasm
subsides, he is able to move his foot a little bit from side to side
or move his leg a bit upwards. Is that incredible news, or what??!!
We don't know if it is only happening because of the spasm, and
would not happen otherwise, but posts on a SCI forum we frequent say
it could be a pre-cursor to recovering some or all function of
that particular muscle. So that sounds like good news to me!
Even the slightest movement could represent healing, and as long as
there is healing, there could be recovery. And that is our prayers
being answered.
So
what else could I write that could even come close to being
important? We have been very busy, but I won't bore you with all of
the details of our day to day schedule this past week and a half or
so.....
But,
Darren has now looked at both Montclair State University and Ramapo
College. He is
getting close to making a decision, which is good, as the deadline
is May 1st, only 2 weeks away! As soon as the check has been mailed,
I will let you know what his decision is. In the meantime, he is
looking at taking a class or 2 online this summer, just to
keep his brain working.
Therapy
at Kessler is now only twice a week, and we have started going in
the pool. First, we tried the pool at Cedar Crest, a lovely facility
with very accommodating personnel, but the depth is shallow - only 5
feet - and Darren wants to do exercises that require him to float
vertically in the water. Since he is over 6' tall, he needs a deeper
pool! So we will be trying the YMCA in Mountain
Lakes this
week, and we look forward to that suiting his needs a bit better.
We'll let you know!
We
are very appreciative of a wonderful group of women, headed by Liz
Schecter, who teamed up to run/walk a marathon this past Sunday,
raising funds for Darren. They had a beautiful day, and came to see
us afterward. I was so glad to see them all walking, after such a
grueling event! What a terrific bunch of ladies, and I thank you all
for your efforts. Giving that much of yourselves, to raise funds for
someone else, is truly a gift. We thank you from the bottom of our
hearts.
I
am writing this on the eve of my birthday. Unlike some of my closest
friends, I still like celebrating my birthday! I try not to count
the years, so much, as the memories and the gifts (the non-material
ones) I have received the previous year. While I don't yet know the
meaning of the gift I received on July 23rd last year, I do know
that I have my wonderful, precious son that I can hug, kiss, laugh
and cry with every single day. Having all of us together is the
most precious of all gifts that a person could hope for. So as I
look to the year ahead, I am thankful, hopeful and optimistic that
there are brighter days to come. Bring on the candles and the cake!
I know what my wish will be!
With
love and prayers,
Cynthia
April
27
Hello
everyone, I finally committed to myself that today would indeed be
the day I wrote a long-overdue update. Where does the time go???
Sometimes I think that I'll just write a quick paragraph, just to
get some news out, but then time slips away, and a week and more
goes by. The I think - uh-oh - its REALLY time to write
now!!!
So
here are the highlights: left toe, Ramapo, driving and pool
time.
Now
that I have your attention - are there any 11th grade/HS junior
parents reading this that could help with a last-minute fill in for
the Snack Shack tomorrow - Thursday, April 28? PLEASE let me know,
as I don't have anyone!
Back
to the good stuff - I don't think I reported previously that Darren
is sometimes able to move the big toe on his left foot. He can't
always move it, or move it at will like his right toes, but it does
move, and that is such good news. More healing, more recovery, and
that is always positive in my eyes. He can also sometimes move his
right foot from side to side, just a bit, but nevertheless -
movement! More good news. At least once a day, I try to remind
Darren on how important it is to be positive, and how powerful the
mind can be. We have read about a doctor in London who
works with SCI patients and others, concentrating on the
mind-body-soul connection and the results are incredible. So the
power is there, its just learning how to harness it.
I
mailed a check to Ramapo College yesterday as an
acceptance deposit for the Fall semester. I think Darren is happy
that he made the decision, and so am I! Their Office of Special
Services put him in touch with another student there who is also in
a wheelchair, and after having that conversation, I think it helped
Darren make up his mind. So he is excited about the whole process of
choosing classes, going to school, etc. It will be such a big step
for him, and a good one, too. Over the summer, he'll be taking 2
more classes online through UMass, that he'll be able to transfer
the credits - College Writing and Environmental Studies. Taking them
online will give him the flexibility of doing the work when he can,
and taking advantage of the nicer weather to get in as much pool
time as possible. We are looking for a physical therapist with pool
experience, so if anyone knows of someone who might be qualified
and/or interested, please pass this information along to him or her,
or let me know and I can make contact.
Darren's
first driving evaluation will be Tuesday, May 3rd, and then he'll
have several more before taking his driving test with the Driving
Rehab program at Kessler and the DMV. Hopefully, it will be about 4
sessions, but could be more depending on what his needs are. He is,
of course, very excited about getting behind the wheel again. It
spells INDEPENDENCE!!! (For me,
too!)
The
Mountain Lakes Y is working out well, although we had to skip a
session this week because I hurt my back and did not want to chance
it, transferring him in and out of the water. But we'll go on
Saturday, and I've recruited Arianne to help, which should be good
for her knee, too! Which is healing up nicely, by the way. Darren is
always anxious to do more in the pool than he did the previous time,
trying new exercises and skills. He really feels good in the water
and enjoys the time.
So
I am nursing my hurt back, taking it easy and doing gentle stretches
throughout the day. I've noticed a big improvement from yesterday to
today, so I am optimistic that in a few days I'll be back to normal.
I certainly hope so!
To
all our Jewish friends - Happy Passover! We were very happy to be
invited to our first Seder this past Saturday at the Gordon's,
and we all thoroughly enjoyed the rituals, the readings and of
course, the food. It was a wonderful experience. So to all of you -
enjoy your holiday.
Well,
enough for now, as I have written a lot, once again!
As
always, I appreciate your e-mails, calls, letters and cards, and am
ever grateful for the wonderful circle of friends and support that
surrounds us. Your prayers, thoughts and concern are still what
keeps me going, and I couldn't do it without all of you. Thank you,
from the bottom of my heart.
With
love,
Cynthia
May 11
Hello to all!
Three
important notes:
1-
Quick
reminder that if you want to golf and/ or have dinner at Newton ------
four-somes and sponsorships are due now.
Planning is in full swing—pun intended!!!!
Fun is
also intended, so don’t worry if you’re not a
“tiger”.
See
attached, complete and mail ASAP.
2-
The Run
for Recovery will take place rain or shine, come to the KHS track
this Saturday morning (you can run or walk) and join us in support
of Darren.
3-
MOST
IMPORTANT--- See below for Darren’s email that I have forwarded
regarding stem cell research, click on the links!!!
AND
TAKE ACTION
Best
regards,
Medora
-----Original Message-----
From:
Darren Templeton
[mailto:puckzman16@yahoo.com]
Sent: Wednesday, May 11, 2005
10:42 AM
To: medorar@millennium-tech.com
Subject: Vote in
NJ
I was thinking that it would be a good idea to
send these links out to "the list" of contacts, I
think they're important.
http://carecure.atinfopop.com/4/OpenTopic?a=tpc&s=4754088921&f=3854088921&m=355107736
http://www.kintera.org/siteapps/advocacy/index.aspx?c=dkLQK8MNIpG&b=492637&action=2085&template=x.ascx
Thanks,
Darren
May
15
The time is
flying by, and we are all very happy that warmer weather has arrived
– finally!
Darren has
had three driving sessions so far. At first, he said he was harder
than he thought it would be, then it has gotten progressively
easier. Each time, minor adjustments are made, and he is able to do
more and more. If he is successful at parallel parking, he might go
for his driving test sometime this week. Hopefully, his vehicle on
order will arrive on schedule (the end of June), driving controls
will be installed and he’ll be on the road this summer. At least
that’s the plan!
We have
been going the pool at the Mountain Lakes Y twice a week for the
past several weeks, and that is going well. The staff and fellow
patrons are very helpful, and the pool sessions are going well. It’s
just me and Darren, following an exercise routine and trying
different swimming strokes. He works really hard, as usual, and is
exhausted after our 45-50 minutes are up. We are really looking
forward to using our own pool, which should be open and ready by the
beginning of June.
Darren also
continues to work with a personal trainer twice a week, and focuses
on balance and upper body strengthening. I can see improvements as
Darren does everyday things for himself. They are getting easier and
quicker. He is even able to push up on his wheelchair wheels,
lifting his butt several inches off of his cushion. That shows how
much his arms and triceps are
improving.
This past
weekend, the Kinnelon High School Ambassador’s Club hosted a “Run
for Recovery” for Darren’s benefit. The weather fully cooperated (it
was a gorgeous day) and many friends and community people came out
to walk or run on Darren’s behalf. We are very appreciative of
everyone’s involvement, as volunteers, walkers, runners and
sponsors. Thank you for all of your
support.
As a lot of
Darren’s friends are arriving home from college, Darren has just
completed his first online college course. He was very happy to
report today that in checking his grades, he got an A in his
Philosophy course – yea!! He was a little nervous, but did think
that he did well. He was happy that he did even better then he
expected. In one week, he starts 2 more online courses – college
writing and history. He has been very diligent in making sure that
Ramapo will accept the credits and registered and bought the
required books all on his own. This is great preparation for the
fall, when he expects to take 4 classes while commuting to Ramapo.
Another part of the process of getting to where he wants to
go.
As I
celebrated Mother’s Day last weekend, I took the time to express my
thanks to God to still have both my children to love and love me
back. Their hugs, kisses and smiles are what keep me going, and I am
thankful each and every day that I have them both. Although belated,
I hope that all of the mothers that this update reaches had a
loving, restful Mother’s Day.
Well,
enough for now, and I hope to keep in better touch. I know its been
awhile since the last update, especially when I see people at the
supermarket and they say “I haven’t gotten an update recently!.....”
so I promise that I’ll at least TRY!
With love
and prayers,
Cynthia
May 26
Hello
everyone,
Not
much "new" news lately, but I thought I'd write and catch everyone
up on the latest goings-on.
I couldn't resist attaching a picture of our beautiful
daughter, Arianne, going to the Prom last week. Many of you are far
away, and wouldn't have a chance to see any pictures, so here's one
for you. She is with a friend, Jess, and they had a great
time.
So
Darren has temporarily finished his driving lessons, until he gets
his own vehicle. That
should be in a few weeks or so. Then we'll get his driving controls
installed, and he'll go back for some training in his own car. Then
he'll take his driving test.
The
two on-line summer courses he's taking have started - College
Writing and a History course. They are both through UMass, as was
his Philosophy class. Darren checked to make sure all the credits
would be transferable to Ramapo. He will be attending a summer
orientation at Ramapo at the end of June for a whole day. So that is
all coming together, as is his schedule for the Fall. We'll be
looking for an aide to accompany him to class, so if anyone out
there knows of anyone who might be capable, interested and
available, please be on the lookout and let me know. That would be
very helpful.
We
are in the process of figuring out a summer schedule with a new
aide, the personal trainer, a PT and the medical muscular
therapist Darren has been seeing. I am hoping we can pull together a
good summer program that is very beneficial for Darren and
encourages more strengthening and healing.
As
usual, Darren's spirits are good, he is working hard, and looking
forward to using our newly renovated pool area and pool house. Not
only for therapy and exercise, but for fun with friends, too. We are
all anxious now for warm weather and sun!!!
A
new friend (an almost totally recovered SCI patient) told me of an
article in a recent issue of Woman's World. It was so encouraging
and enlightening, a story about a 22 year old guy who is now walking
and recovering from a similar injury. It spurred a new round of
internet research, and excitement for the possibilities that lay
ahead. As my always encouraging mother recently said to me - its not
a matter of IF Darren will walk, its a matter of WHEN.
So
on that note of hope, I wish you all a safe and happy Memorial Day
weekend.
With
love and prayers,
Cynthia
June
10
Well, be prepared for a long one (again!), since I
haven't written in awhile (again!). Oh well, maybe soon I'll catch
on that if I write a little bit each time, and more frequently, the
task won't seem quite as overwhelming when I do sit down to write!
Here goes...
Memorial Day weekend brought 2 visits that were very
good, very nice, but emotionally tough. The first was with our
long-time friends, the Recchias. Joe and Gail and their daughters
Katherine and Lauren live in Albany and were spending time at
LBI last summer when they joined us for the day on Friday, July
23rd. They also had 2 other girls (I think there were 2) with them.
While we have kept in touch with them over the last 10 months, we
just weren't able to get our schedules together to see each other.
So they were with us that day, but we hadn't seen them since the
night of Darren's accident. Needless to say, it was an emotional
reunion, but a very good one, too. Just to s[pend time together and
catch up was wonderful. And I guess its all part of the healing
process to discuss the day's events and all that has transpired
since then. And that has been a huge amount, as Joe and Gail
realized upon seeing Darren and all that he is capable of doing. So
we had a very nice time with all of them, and we were so glad they
made the time to come and see us.
The
next day (I tried to coordinate this, but was unable to) the fireman
that happened to be in the boat next to us that day, that brought a
large tube to John and Darren while they were struggling in the
water, came for a visit with his wife and 2 young daughters. They
live in North Caldwell, and Robert is a paid fireman in North Hudson. His daughters had been with him
on the boat that day. I had spoken to Robert on the phone 2
times, but we had never met. I felt it was time, and called him to
arrange a visit. That visit, too, was emotional, but very nice as
well. Fortunately, Robert was there in the bay, and knew what
to do, being a trained fireman. He acted quickly and saved both
John's and Darren's lives. Another small boat who was coming through
the channel at just the right time, was able to get to Joe Recchia,
who was also struggling, and helped him to safety. Since that time,
Robert has received 3 valor awards for his efforts that day.
Re-living the events, it was a very real possibility that 3 lives
might have been lost had it not been for the help of strangers. But
that was not meant to be, and all 3 were saved. I thank God for that
every day. As it turns out, Robert and his wife tried to buy a house
here in Kinnelon just 2 doors away from us about a year and a half
ago! And he went to school with Al Escudero, our neighbor in the
back! When we told him that Darren had taken Al's daughter Dana to
the prom the year before, he just couldn't believe it. What a small
world it is! And we invited Al and Angela over after dinner, so they
could have a mini-reunion of their own!
So
that was our Memorial Day weekend - more like a reunion
weekend.
On
the Tuesday after, we welcomed Marge into our house and our lives.
Marge is an LPN and will be working for us 6 hours a day. Sometimes
she'll work 3 hours in the morning and 3 more in the afternoon, or
she'll work 6 hours straight through. She is very experienced, very
caring and thorough, and flexible, too. So far, so good. Being that
she is a nurse, and not an aide, she'll be able to some of Darren's
care that only I have been doing up to this point. So I look forward
to a bit more freedom and flexibility in the mornings. Marge has
also worked with patients in the pool, and so far has been a big
help with that.
Speaking of the pool, we now have a heater hooked up,
and it is wonderful! We were in for the first time last Saturday,
and in all the years we have had a pool, we had never been in
it this early. And it was warm, too! Darren loved it, just floated
around and enjoyed the water and the nice weather. We have a lift to
get him in and out, or we use a spare wheelchair (thank you, Diane
P!) and go in and out using the steps. That's a bit more tricky,
though, and requires at least one really strong person and a few
helpers. Darren continues to do a variety of exercises in the water,
and is always trying new things. We had his neuromuscular massage
therapist come yesterday for 2 hours, and he really worked! (So did
we!) We helped him to stand up in the shallow end, and while he
required a lot of support, he was able to use his legs a bit to push
himself up. Then we also gave him a lot of support while Margaret,
the therapist, moved his legs in a walking pattern. She is a huge
proponent of getting the body moving again like it was used to,
reminding the brain of what its supposed to do and feel like. She
also had him doing a "doggy paddle" of sorts with his arms while we
moved his legs simultaneously. All in all, it was a great 2 hours,
and Darren later took an hour and half nap to re-energize! We look
forward to working more with Margaret over the summer, as well as 2
physical therapists who are available, too.
Last
Friday, Darren, John and I went to Rutgers to hear Dr. Wise Young speak about SCI
research and cures. Margaret, the therapist mentioned above, also
joined us there. Dr. Young is a prominent SCI researcher, well-known
in the US and internationally as
well. He is in the forefront of all the work that is going on around
the world. We toured the lab, then listened to him speak about
various procedures, medications and trials either going on or
planned for the future. It was obvious that he is both passionate
about his work, and has great compassion for those who suffer from
conditions like SCI and others who can benefit from stem cell
research and other types of procedures. I asked some specific
questions about rehabilitation, and at the end of the session, we
were lucky enough to benefit from a one-on-one conversation with him
about Darren's condition. He even evaluated Darren's grip and wrist
strength, checked his biceps and triceps, and was quite impressed
with Darren's capabilities. He suggested looking into using
biofeedback as a means to improve some of his arm muscles. We also
spoke of intensive rehab facilities, like Project Walk in California, and others located in Europe. Dr. Young feels that a few
places in Europe have superior programs to any in
the U.S., and Margaret is
helping research that for us. All in all, it was a VERY
worthwhile experience, hearing him speak, and feeling his positive
attitude and energy. I came away feeling that since there is just SO
much happening in all parts of the world, someone is bound to make a
breakthrough, and soon, too.
I
will end on this positive note, thinking about Dr. Young's
commitment to this field of stem cell research, and what it could
mean to hundreds of thousands of patients suffering from SCI, MS, CP, etc. There is just so much
to hope for. We continue to ask for your prayers and
support.
Love Cynthia
June
21
Hello Everyone!
I am
happy to report that we are now on a good pool schedule, getting
Darren into the pool at least 3 times a week, doing exercises,
stretching, strengthening and movement. We have the water very warm,
under the pretense of "therapeutic" (which it needs to be for
Darren, but not necessarily the rest of us!) and it is quite lovely!
So we are getting lots of use of the pool.
A
great, big, huge THANK YOU to the Newton Country Club and their
charity events committee for putting together a wonderful golf
outing for Darren and a little girl suffering from cancer, last
Tuesday. Special thanks to our dear friends, Ralph and Lucille
Rathyen, and Pam Etzold, the chairperson. It was such a beautiful
day, and the turnout was fantastic. From golfers, to hole sponsors,
to prize donors and dinner attendees, the support was overwhelming.
And to ALL of those who either participated or contributed, or
helped with the details behind the scenes, our heartfelt thanks to
you all. We were also very grateful to one of our favorite
Devils players, John Madden, who was part of John's foursome. I've
attached a picture of the two of them. Darren was happy to be out
there on the course, driven around by his sister, and tagging along
after his buddies, for the entire afternoon. He really enjoyed the
day and seeing everyone. On the way home, he said something
like "I really want to get better for all of these people
pulling for me." That is not the first time he has said something
like that, so I KNOW that he truly appreciates the support, care and
concern that so many have shown over the past 11 months.
It really does make a difference. It was the highlight of our
month, and I know will carry us a ways with all of the positive
energy shown that day. I have also attached a picture of Darren, Ari
and Steve Colonna, the uncle of the little girl, who ironically was
a friend of mine from high school. I haven't seen Steve in years,
maybe even since high school, but his mom and my mom still stay in
contact. We wish her and her family all the best in her fight
against cancer.
Another highlight was the arrival of Darren's Honda
Element. That came Thursday morning, bright and early, brought on a
trailer from Michigan. We have since tried
Darren's power and manual chairs in it - just to make sure they fit,
even though we tried it previously. Also, making sure his chairs fit
as a driver and a passenger. We are scheduled for our first
appointment to discuss the driving controls specific to Darren's
needs, which is tomorrow (Wednesday). After that appointment, we
should have a better feel for the kind of equipment needed and the
timing of it being ready for him to drive. It almost seems cruel
that its sitting here in the garage, and he is unable to use it yet,
but Darren knows that is part of the process. So hopefully we can
get the ball rolling on the equipment, and have him ready to drive
in just a week or two.
Ramapo College appointments and
orientations are starting, too, as Darren prepares for the Fall
semester. Their Office of Specialized Services is very involved with
the whole process of becoming a new student there, and they have
quite a comprehensive plan for helping Darren acclimate as a
freshmen with special needs. So we are looking forward to that whole
process, too.
So
as we are enjoying the warm weather, Darren continues to work hard
with his new therapy routine and his online courses, and is still as
positive, determined and motivated as ever. Thank you all for your
continued support, hope and prayers.
Love Cynthia
July
11
Good morning all.
Darren has asked me to forward this announcement to
everyone on the update list. If you don’t get the insert
below with the text and photo, you can go to www.murderballmovie.com
to read about it.
MURDERBALL is getting a ton of press and incredible response
from critics and
audience, but we still need your help.
Please forward
this to your friends, family and colleagues. Hopefully we'll see you
at the movies. I think Darren would appreciate your feedback after
you see the movie.
Thank you very much.
Medora
Regan
July
21
Hello Everyone, I know
its been a long time since the last update. I guess when there's
nothing "new" happening, I am not as motivated to write as often as
I used to. While we've all been very busy, and Darren is progressing
in strength, endurance and balance, there really isn't much new
news. Darren continues to work hard at his therapy, going in the
pool 3-4 days a week, and working out on the other days as well. He
uses the Bow Flex machine and works a lot at improving and
maintaining his core muscles. He also uses the Nu-Step machine and
the standing frame. So his days are busy, believe me. Throw in his
schoolwork, a doctor appointment here and there, and that's our
schedule. Not to mention the time he spends with friends, hanging
out, playing poker, going to the movies, etc. He is as busy as any
other 19 year old I know!
His
attitude and determination continue to be strong. He continues to be
self motivated, like he always was in anything he undertook. Knowing
the meaning of hard work and working for what you want has proven to
be an invaluable asset since his accident.
In a
few days, we will mark the one year anniversary of his injury. As I
lay in bed last night thinking about this milestone, I had such
mixed feelings. Has it already been a year? Has it only been a
year? I was thinking back to that day, immediately after he
was hurt, and I had no idea what lay before us. Seeing him placed in
the helicopter, talking with the trauma doctors at Atlantic City Medical Center, transferring him to Thomas
Jefferson University Hospital, planning for surgery
- nothing could have prepared us for what the future held. We didn't
know anything about what might/could/should happen. Then it was a
whirlwind, treating him post-op and figuring out what to do next.
Choosing Shepherd was the best decision we made, and we are grateful
for the guidance we had that found us there. Most of you know the
rest of the story.
So
much has happened, yet we hope for so much more. We are looking into
a place called Project Walk in San Diego, California, where intensive
physical therapy is emphasized with the goal of walking. There's
another place, too, in Ohio. We are thinking about
spending the month of January in a place like that, between
semesters at Ramapo. And there's so much happening with stem cell
treatments and procedures. So we continue to research, explore and
learn what we can do. There is so much information out there, we
just have to sort through it all.
In
the meantime, there is a lot of living going on, as you can see from
my above description of Darren's days, and also in the picture and
the link I'm attaching. People involved with the recent golf outing
at Newton Country Club sent us a disc of over 200 pictures from the
day of the event. I've uploaded them to a new album at Sony Image
Station, and hopefully you can see it by using this link.
http://www.imagestation.com/upload/index.html
I
can't promise it will work, but try, and see what happens. If it
doesn't work, I guess I'll hear about it from some of you!!! (Good
way to get e-mails! But remember, please DON'T hit reply - Medora
will be bombarded with messages to forward to me!!!) E-mail me
directly at: cynthiat@optonline.net.
I
think about all of the support, love and prayers we have received
over the last year, and will be forever grateful for all that
everyone has done. With your continued care and concern, even more
progress will be made and dreams will be fulfilled. I am thankful
every day for all that I have and all that I am surrounded by. Many
of you are to thank for my continued strength and positive outlook.
You know who you are, and I could not have made it this far without
you.
With
love, prayers and continued hope for the
future,
Cynthia
August
14
Since we haven’t written an update in awhile, and my
mom has been pretty busy, I figured I would send a quick one out
just to let everyone know what’s going on. The biggest news around
here is that Darren’s new van came in the other day, with hand
controls and everything. He hasn’t gotten his license yet, but
hopefully next week the instructor will be able to take him down to
the course, and he’ll pass. In case you didn’t know, the Honda
Element didn’t work out, and that went back to the dealer, so that’s
why we got the new van. Other than that, Darren’s been using the
pool a lot, at least 4 times a week. He’s worked with different
therapists in the pool doing all sorts of exercises. He does have
some slight leg movement while he is in the pool, which is really
exciting and inspiring. If we put a plastic chair in the shallow
end, he is able to get movement in his quad and lift his leg a
little bit.
This
past weekend, Paul Rudat came down for a visit. Paul was at Shepherd
with Darren last summer, and we have kept in touch. The last time I
saw him was in March when I went up to visit and bring some things
for their yard sale. Other than that, no one else in my family has
seen him, so they were very impressed at his progress. It was nice
to see him and spend time with him, so we were all really glad he
came up.
As
far as therapy goes, we are looking into a program called Project
Walk that is out of California. Darren and my mom are
planning on going there the last week of September to check out the
place and hopefully get some sort of home program figured out. Then
he will come home and work for about 3 months, and then return there
for the month of January and do intensive therapy there. The
mentality of Project Walk is very positive and encouraging. If you
would like to check it out, the website is www.projectwalk.org So as
long as he is eligible (there is no reason he shouldn’t be), then it
looks like that will be happening.
As
far as school goes, he will be starting classes at Ramapo on
September 6, which he is looking forward
to.
I
know this was a short one, but I figured I’d try and fill everyone
in on the important things.
Hopefully the summer has been great for everyone, only
a few weeks left.
Love
Ari
August
24
Hi
everyone, this will be a short update, just to pass along some
exciting news: Darren passed his driving test on Tuesday morning -
yea!!! The instructor said that he did really well, and had no
problems at all. I had taken him practice driving at the High School
parking lot two times, and I was nervous, but also impressed with
his abilities. The driving instructor at Kessler must have done
something right! Of course, he was out driving that night - and I
was glad he was - and everyone who saw him was so happy that HE was
happy! It means so much for his mental attitude, his independence,
freedom, etc. And it will do wonders for me, too! Now I'll be going
car shopping.............
Tomorrow (or today if you're reading this on Thursday)
we head to Atlanta for a long weekend. A visit
to Shepherd, a Day at the Lake for
water-skiing and jet-skiing hosted by Shepherd's Therapeutic
Recreation Dept, and time to see my brother, his wife, and 5 month
old twins. We are looking forward to it, but with a slight amount of
trepidation as its our first trip since flying home in November. But
I see things as being a lot easier this time, as Darren is so much
stronger and independent now. I'll let you know how it all
goes.......
I
started making reservations for our one week trip to Project Walk.
We will go the last week in September. It looks like Darren's
personal trainer will also go with us, which will be great to have
him trained directly by the experts. They have a "Train the Trainer"
program that will fit our needs exactly. Then Darren hopes to follow
the home based program for 3 months, then return to CA for the whole
month of January, in between semesters. Their whole outlook is very
positive and hopeful, and I think it will give Darren a real boost
to be in that kind of environment. There are no guarantees, of
course, but positive outlook, hard work and motivating personnel
will make a difference. We'll keep you
posted.......
So
that was my quick update. I'll keep in touch as best as I
can.
With
love, hope and prayers,
Cynthia Templeton
September
8
Hello Everyone,
Aahh, the beginning of a new school year - new
beginnings, fresh starts.......but first, let me re-cap our
summer:
We
made a decision in the spring (or maybe while it was still winter,
even), that we would do the work we had planned on our
pool area and pool house. We would not go to our shore house - too
emotional, too painful, and not accessible for Darren. So we stayed
home all summer, using the pool a lot, enjoying our house, and
spending time with friends and family. Not traveling back and forth,
and planning, food shopping, etc. just made life a whole lot easier.
More time to enjoy ourselves. And that we did. The weather
cooperated, although some may say it was "too nice" since we had
almost no rain at all all summer long, leaving us with water bans
and restrictions. But we took advantage of the nice weather, did
lots of things and had a good time. It was nice being in one place,
although I did miss the shore and the beach.
So
now its September. No matter how long ago it was that I was a
student myself, I still look forward to the time in September when
school starts. It always seems to be a time of new beginnings and
fresh starts. Time to get organized again, have a little more
structure to the schedule, start new projects, etc. I also love
crisp, warm, sunny fall days to take a walk, watch a football game,
enjoy the last of the warm weather. Funny how some things now seem
to have different meanings, when you've hardly noticed them before.
I guess its related to that old cliché of not taking anything for
granted. Well, that has happened to me now. Each day is precious,
another chance to realize what I have and to be thankful for.
Sounding kind of sentimental, huh? Well, that's true, and you know
why........
This
September finds Arianne a senior in high school, and President of
the Student Council. She hopes to play tennis this season, although
her knee isn't quite healed yet, and she's not yet cleared to play.
Hopefully some more time in the gym will help that. She also plans
on skiing this winter - her true love. Ari plans on applying to
Ithaca
College for
early admission into their Physical Therapy program. We made a trip
up there this summer, and she really loves the school. I can't
believe she's a senior.......but she certainly has grown up. I look
forward to this year with her.
Darren has started his classes at Ramapo
College. For
those of you not in this area, it is about a 30 minute drive from
home. He drives himself there, and has had no problems so far. I
worry about the winter weather and how that might affect his
commute, but he has scheduled his 4 classes (12 credits) in 3 days,
so that should help. After participating in an orientation program
and going to classes for 2 days, Darren thinks he can do this on his
own, without the aid of an assistant as I had previously thought.
This is all up to him. I'm letting him decide what he needs, how to
ask for help, who to ask, etc. Now with him driving himself, he is
becoming more responsible for his schedule and appointments. No need
for me to figure everything out anymore. And while its a bit
difficult to do - step back - I am already enjoying the benefits,
and so is he. Another step forward. He seems to be happy with his
choice of classes, and the professors, at least on the first
impression. Time will tell.
Tonight, Darren drove himself and a friend to the US
Open, his third visit of the tournament! He's really getting his
fill of good tennis! He went with a friend to a day session last
week, right at the beginning, then all four of us went on Labor Day.
We saw some great matches, and had a great day. Tonight is the first
time he is driving himself there, and we'll see how that
goes.....
Our
trip to Atlanta went very well, and we did
all that we had planned. On our first day, we visited at Shepherd,
and saw an administrator we were friendly with, one of Darren's
nurses, his in-patient therapists, day program therapists, and
assorted others. We had a full day, and it was very worthwhile.
Darren was able to try out an FES
bike that uses electrical stimulation to contract the muscles and
make them work the pedals of a bike. Pretty neat, and a good workout
for him. While going back to Shepherd and seeing families struggle
with the reality of their new situations was difficult, it also
reaffirmed that Darren was in the best place he could have been
after his injury. It is such a great facility, and they are doing
even more now than when Darren was there.
Saturday was water ski
day at a small private lake an hour north of the city. The Shepherd
group were the only people there, and they had about 12 staff and 7
participants. Needless to say, they knew exactly what they
were doing, had the right equipment and lots of patience with the
beginners. Darren enjoyed his two runs, and did well. Keeping his
balance was a bit tricky, but of course he declined the "outriggers"
on the water ski, and managed to keep himself up most of the way. As
soon as I can, I'll add the pictures to the album, so you can see
how he did.
We
spent Sunday with my brother Tim, his wife and new baby twins. Of
course, they are SO adorable, and we had a very nice time, hanging
out, playing with the babies and eating. They are in Smyrna, GA, in a very nice house and lots
of room. It was a wonderful day.
Plans are in place for Darren to attend a one week
program at Project Walk, in Carlsbad, CA. We are very excited that his
trainer, Eric Prol, will be going with us. We leave on September
23rd and return October 1st. We are hopeful and optimistic about the
results, and look forward to being in a very positive environment.
Darren & Eric will come home with a program specifically
tailored to Darren's needs, that he'll work on for 3 months. Then,
if all goes well, we'll return in January (just me and Darren) for
the month. I am very excited about this program, and will update you
from CA as best I can.
Well, another long
e-mail update, but it felt really good to write to all of you.
As
always, we appreciate your support, care and concern. Please keep in
touch!
With
love and prayers,
Cynthia
October
2
Hi
Everyone,
We
are back from California, and it was a GREAT
trip! Project Walk was everything we had hoped it would be, and
more! Darren's trainer was named Margarita, and he spent more than
15 hours with her during the week. It was a no-nonsense set-up. He
started the minute he got there, and usually went longer than his 3
hour allotted time slot. There was no down time stitching between
exercises and equipment. No fooling around, no socializing - just
work. In fact, if Darren "rested" between sets of exercises,
Margarita would have him do something different and opposite, like
sit-ups! So all of the time was well spent.
After the first day's schedule of 9-12:30, we were
there each day from 10:30 - 1:30. If there was any "business" to
conduct, like setting up the program, or doing his interview for the
web site, it was all done after his time slot. They didn't let
anything interfere with his exercise time. First they wanted to see
what he could do, what his capabilities were, and what he was
interested in doing. As they went along, sometimes with 2 or 3
trainers, they would be developing a home program for him. As
Margarita showed Eric, Darren's trainer from home, how to do things,
eventually they let him (Eric) do it himself. But she was always
there guiding him and instructing. She was very thorough and
explained everything in detail.
Basically, Darren's program will consist of table
work, moving and stretching his legs, ankles, and hips. Then he will
work out on a Total Gym, which we ordered and had delivered while we
were away. That is meant to work the legs, pushing against the base
and against gravity. (They're big believers in using gravity). Then
he'll do floor work, on his back, then against a wall, some kneeling
and then work on his hands and knees. They believe that SCI patients
need to re-learn the developmental steps that they learned as
infants and toddlers - rolling, getting up on hands and knees,
crawling, walking. While every case and every patient are different,
there are many patients at various stages of walking, using crutches
and walkers. So it is a very positive atmosphere - encouraging
and motivating the clients to work hard and re-train the central
nervous system. What was also encouraging was that Darren had
already been doing some of the things they feel are most
important. So now he will have a program that he will use for the
next three months, getting stronger and stronger to prepare for
going back. Our plan is to return for the whole month of January, in
between semesters at Ramapo.
In
addition to doing and learning all of the parts of the program he
will do at home, they encouraged and allowed Darren to try other
things in the gym. By the way, it is a large facility, with a ton of
equipment. There were lots of people there all of the time, but it
was very well organized and focused, not chaotic or disruptive. So
Darren wanted to stand up, using a bar for support, and looking in
the mirror. They helped him do that, and he was successful at using
his glutes, abs and back to help push up, with support, from a
sitting to a standing position. After that, they put him on a
gait-trainer, where he was harnessed in to support some of his
weight, then his feet were strapped in to bindings, and the machine
moved his feet in a rotating position, similar to an elliptical
machine. It was good he could stay upright, but in this case, the
machine was doing the work. However, in "re-training the brain" its
the repetitions that matter, so that was a good thing to do. After
that, Margarita and 2 other trainers got him on a spin bike. A bit
tricky, since there's not any support, but that's why they had 3
people helping! They were able to keep him upright and push on his
thighs to make the pedals go round. That was on Thursday. Now
for the good news!!! On Friday, after more than 2 hours of working
out, they again got Darren on the spin bike. After a few minutes,
Darren was ready to take a break, so he sat more upright, and Eric
was just holding his trunk, to keep him from falling off or over.
Well, Darren's legs kept going, probably from the momentum,
initially. But then it was very clear from the look on his face to
the trembling in his legs, that he was pushing the pedals himself!!!
We didn't even realize it at first, and almost couldn't believe it.
But I had the video camera rolling, and yes, its on tape!!! The
smile on Darren's face said it all. And I was blinking back the
tears. I am blinking them back now as I type this, and I
suppose there a few other teary-eyes as you read this. What better
way to end the day and the week on that note. It was awesome and
incredible to witness.
While we were in California, we had the pleasure of
being near some friends of ours and spending quite a bit of time
with them. John and Al Wilson were hired by Decision Data
at about the same time on 1980. Al was in California,
but we got to know them through the annual trips, and John and
Al struck up a friendship that has lasted all of this time. Well, Al
and his wife, Linda, had us to their house three times during
the week, and one night we went out for a wonderful dinner together.
Spending time with them, sharing our stories and experiences and
catching up, was a wonderful addition to our trip. They made
the week special, and made us feel as welcome as
family. It was really nice to meet their family, see their
house and to have fun together. Thank you, Al and
Linda!
Over
the course of the week, we also went into the town of Carlsbad
(that's where we stayed) to have dinner at an outdoor restaurant
that had live music, saw a movie, and went to Balboa Park in San
Diego. We also shopped at the outlet mall across the street from our
hotel (how convenient!) and had lunch there several times because it
was so close. We had beautiful weather the whole week, and
thoroughly enjoyed the stay. But, of course, its always nice to come
home, too.....
So
now we have a "wish list" of things we'd like to have, so we can
duplicate what Project Walk does. Of course, we know we can't do
everything exactly as they do, but some key items would definitely
help. And if anyone has things around, that they're not using and
would be willing to lend them to us, we would be very grateful. So
here goes:
A
spin bike, in good condition, that has removable handlebars. (They
really believe a "spin" bike and not an ordinary exercise bike is
the most beneficial).
A
bosu ball
Floor exercise mat(s) - 1 or 2 depending on
size
If
anyone has anything that might be useful, please contact me, and we
can see if what you have is what we need. I'd be happy to go and see
what you have, and arrange to bring it home.
Well, I must end here, since its getting late,
although jet lag still has me thinking its earlier than it is!
Tomorrow (Monday) begins a new phase in Darren's exercise program,
which we are all excited about. Again, all of your care, concern and
prayers have brought us to where we are today. The belief that
Darren will walk again has been reinforced by our experience at
Project Walk, and we need your continued prayers that this will
indeed happen.
With
love and thanks,
Cynthia
October 19
Hi
everyone,
Thank you to everyone who offered some of the items we
were looking for. Some we were able to use, some not. But I
appreciate all of your generosity and thoughts. We now have a spin
bike, which Darren's trainer, Eric, was able to get for us, and a
good floor exercise mat. The only item I had to purchase was
a bosu ball, and that has been ordered. Along with some
"props" we were able to put to use that we had around the house - a
seat cushion, a foam wedge, pillows - Darren and Eric are able to
duplicate the routine put together for Darren's home program. It's
still a bit of trial and error, but they are figuring it out. They
try to do the workout three times per week, on Mondays, Thursdays
and Fridays. So far, so good!
Darren's classes seem to be going well, at least from
the information I get! He's no different than other college kids -
doesn't tell his parents much....but as long as he's getting to
classes, getting around and managing everything, the classes are the
easy part! He enjoys his two business classes, and doesn't seem to
mind the amount of work he is assigned. Every now and then I even
hear what goes on in class!
Some
of you might have seen the article in the Star Ledger a few weeks
ago about a sport called "quad rugby." Darren was featured in the
article, since he just happened to go to the practice when the
reporter was there. I have my own copy, but I couldn't find it
on the web to send a link here, and I tried to scan it to attach
here, but was not successful. I'll try again for the next update.
Anyway, last week, one of the guys loaned Darren a special rugby
chair to try out, and Monday night, Darren and his friends went to
the Lakeland Y during open gym time for Darren to get in some
practice using the chair. Sounds like they had fun. Darren has added
this to his list of activities, and now goes to Hackensack
every Tuesday night to practice with the team. I think it's great
that he is interested and has made the effort to get involved. All
on his own.
I
have made a new online photo album with the pictures from Project
Walk. Hopefully this link will work. Please let me know! I hope you
enjoy seeing what Darren did there, and if you have any questions,
I'd be glad to try to answer them. Here's the link:
http://www.imagestation.com/album/pictures.html?id=2119703218&code=18811984&mode=invite&DCMP=isc-email-AlbumInvite
Well, a shorter update than most, but hope it's been
informative!
With
love and prayers,
Cynthia
November
4
Hello Everyone!
Today marks the one year anniversary of our arrival
home from the Shepherd
Center in Atlanta. What
a year it's been!
Happy times, sad times; frustrations and successes;
challenges and triumphs. A year of personal and family struggle,
growth, love and endurance. From tears of sadness and grief to tears
of happiness and joy. Where the good days now outnumber the bad
ones. Through it all, Darren's positive attitude, determination and
motivation were the driving forces. If he could wake up with a smile
on his face, then so could I. Not every day, of course (do any of
you?), but the majority of them. His dedication to his own recovery
continues now, as strong as ever. But he also wants to live the life
of any 19 year old - going to school, hanging out with
friends, having a good time. So I'll try to re-cap the year as
best I can (without boring you all to death!).
What
I remember about coming home was that Ari was with us (me and
Darren), and we had two cars pick us up at the airport - John
and my brother-in-law, Pete, I think. As we drove through
Kinnelon, there were banners, signs and bows welcoming us home.
It was a wonderful, and emotional, home-coming. My family was at the
house, food was delivered, and even though our renovations were not
quite complete, it was great to be home.
In
the beginning, Darren stayed in our room, since the elevator wasn't
finished, and did not have use of a shower. We stayed in his room
upstairs, and we did all of his care ourselves. We had no help with
that in the beginning. Since I had no help in the more than 3 weeks
in the Day Program, it was a continuation of that, but it was tough,
and draining - both physically and emotionally. But we had so much
help otherwise. Dinners brought in three times a week, drivers
helping with the Kessler trips, visitors, phone calls and support of
all kinds. We could not have adjusted so well without our family and
friends.
The
weeks were pretty structured, then, with therapy appointments the
primary focus. Darren was often tired and worn out from the trips
and treatments. But he was gaining strength and endurance, and
figuring things out on his own. Thanksgiving and Christmas kept us
pretty busy, and then his friends were home from college and keeping
him company. A lot of poker playing was going on upstairs! His
friends have been right there with him from the beginning, and
continue to be a huge part of his recovery and overall quality
of life. Thanks, guys!!!
Truthfully, the next few months seem to be a blur. We
did get help with Darren's care, and the aide, Mira was wonderful.
She didn't have any experience with a spinal cord injury
before, and it was tough for her in the beginning. Not only
getting used to the routine and the amount of work, but seeing
Darren struggle was upsetting to her. But she was caring and
concerned, and always careful. She was reliable, honest and a good
care-giver. Arianne turned 17 in January and started driving, so
that was a huge help. But then she had knee surgery in mid-February,
so we then had a second patient to care for! It was tough for a
while, but we managed. It seemed like we just "got through" the
winter, looking forward to the spring and summer.
At
the end of May, Darren qualified for a special Medicaid waiver
program, and as much as we hated the idea of losing Mira, we were in
search of a new aide/nurse who could give us more hours and more
flexibility. The agency that Medicaid uses found us Marge, who is
still with us now. She is a God-send. Very caring, very
knowledgeable, very reliable. Also, honest and flexible. All of the
qualities you could hope for in a care-giver. At first, I was
reluctant to hand over my duties as Darren's primary care-giver. Who
else would care for him like I did? But the physical and mental
strain was starting to take its toll, and we all knew it had to
happen. We are so fortunate to have found a wonderful person like
Marge.
During this time, Darren started taking college
courses on-line, and thinking about attending college in the fall.
He was very determined to get back into the learning atmosphere.
While the online courses helped, he was more anxious to actually be
in a college setting. So the plans fell into place to attend Ramapo,
which is where is is now and will continue in the spring. He is know
thinking of continuing at Ramapo next year, with a new twist - he
wants to live there on campus. I think this is a wonderful
progression, and while it will take planning and coordination, it is
a very real possibility.
The
summer brought lots of time in the pool, and enjoying family and
friends in the nice weather. We enjoyed a new schedule, and spending
as much time as possible outside.
The
rest is still new enough for you to remember from recent updates, so
I won't bore you with the repetition.
Today is a beautiful fall day, and in a little while,
I will heading out to Pyramid Mountain for a hike with some
friends. I look forward to enjoying the good company, the sun, the
view. I'm sure I'll do more reflecting on this past year and a half
and what it means. I'll treasure the experience and hope to gain
strength from it.
It
has been one heck of a year, and still, everyday, I thank God that
Darren is alive and with us. As much as I struggle with our
situation as a family, and think and worry about Darren's daily
struggles, I am so happy and grateful that we still have him. His
personality, his sense of humor, his zest for living is all intact.
I wouldn't trade that for anything. And especially his smile! He
continues to amaze me everyday, and lead us all on a wonderful, new
journey. He constantly teaches me new things about perseverance,
determination, faith and overcoming challenges. I have learned many
things about myself while learning about Darren and his needs. I
know he has impressed all of you with his strength. Well, I am his
biggest fan!
Thank you to all of you
who have been on this journey with us. I know so many of you have
been affected by Darren's situation, and now look at life
differently. You have been there for us, in thoughts, in actions, in
prayers, in sadness and in joy. It has affected us all,
and while I am sorry this has happened, and of course, wish it
never had, I think it has taught
many of us to appreciate the precious moments we have, to treasure
our loved ones, and not take anything for granted. With continued
faith, hope and prayers, Darren will continue to recover. I thank
you for all you have done for us.
Cynthia
Templeton
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