November 28

Hello everyone, I hope you all enjoyed your Thanksgiving holiday and long weekend. We did! Tonight the house is quiet - a first in about 6 days! Friends started arriving home Tuesday night, and we've had visitors ever since. It was a lot of kids, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. It was great for Darren to see everyone, great for them to see him, and great that they all saw each other. What a nice group of "young adults" - hardly kids anymore! In addition to visiting and hanging out, Darren went to the movies with friends one night, and out to Applebee's another night. His friends tackled doing a car transfer, and taking him out in our van. Everything went very smoothly, and its great to have others who will take Darren with them and do what needs to be done. I had no doubt it would happen; it was just nice to see.

Thanksgiving brought 14 for dinner at our house. I really didn't do much of the cooking, so it wasn't too much work. Thanks to Mom, Michele, and Lucille, everything was very nice. I know how much I have to be thankful for, and said so in a prayer before dinner. Of course I cried through my words, but managed to say what I wanted. The food was kind of secondary; I was thankful to be all together and have our family and friends with us. It was a lovely day.

The Kinnelon High School Hockey team had its first-ever alumni game. We all went, with some trepidation on my part. I had two meltdowns - one at the beginning when they were going to announce everyone's name (I couldn't listen; could only think about how Darren should have been out there) and again at the end of the game when they gathered for a team picture and they brought Darren out with them. Thanks for the shoulders, Jane and Cindy D. You were there for me when I needed you. Darren seemed to thoroughly enjoy himself, and again, it was good for him to see everyone and everyone to see him. As difficult as it was, I was glad I went. 

As we see more and more people, I realize how good it is for all of you to see Darren. It has been a long time, and reading e-mails and looking at pictures just isn't the same. I am so proud of him when everyone tells me how good he looks, and how good his spirits are. He is amazing, and he continues to give me strength each and every day.

Our elevator still isn't in, but the guys installing it have been working their tails off for us. Long days over the holiday weekend, and we truly appreciate their efforts. In the meantime, we are managing with our makeshift set-up, but anxiously look forward to moving Darren upstairs and us back into our own room. As our schedule at Kessler takes shape, I will be setting up other routines for stretching and exercising with Darren. I know there are many volunteers out there, and I'll start contacting you as I formulate a plan. The time between now and the end of the year will be what we can arrange; after the new year I envision a more solid plan. I appreciate all of your offers and watch out - I WILL be calling some of you for different kinds of help!

Thank you to all of you who have made dinner for us. We have enjoyed them all, and it is such a huge help not to have to plan, shop, cook, etc. THANKS!!!

A few items for those who are new to the list or might not have the information anymore: the link to the photo album site is:

 http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=4229700093&code=11748674&mode=invite&cmp=EMC-AlbumInvite

Don't forget to post a message, but you have to register or sign in to do that.

Also, Darren's e-mail is puckzman16@yahoo.com

Well, enough for now, I think.

With love, prayers and continued hope for more healing,

Cynthia

November 30

Hi everyone, I don't have much "new" news to report on, but I do have some random (though important) thoughts I would like to share with all of you. I am writing this at Kessler, while Darren is in therapy. I forgot my book and my phone, but perhaps that was a good thing. I got to do two of my favorite things - walking and writing. I took a walk around the property; not too scenic, but its brisk and sunny out, and it felt good to be in the sunshine. Now I get to write, another therapeutic activity. Sometimes as I relate the events and activities of our day to day lives, I forget to leave out the most important part of the happenings. I will attempt to fill in some blanks today, as I review the last few weeks' events. First, I know that many of you on this e-mail list know Carol Gordon and her family, and know that Carol's mother recently passed away. However, this list goes far and wide, and some of you have had e-mail and phone conversations with Carol, without ever having met her. So this news is for you, and also to reiterate how thankful I am to have a friend like Carol (as well as the entire Gordon family). It is with great sadness that we accept Charlotte's passing, and know that she is resting in peace. Living next door, we have had many occasions to interact with Carol's parents, and have always enjoyed their company. Of course, her husband David and the whole family are in our thoughts and prayers. Over the last few months, I can no longer refer to Carol and the family as our "neighbors." That implies that they just live next door. Our relationship is so much more than that. We are so lucky to live next door and be such close friends. How tragedy and crisis brings relationships

into focus.

In this same vein, I am so thankful that Eli (Gordon) has been such a true friend to both Darren and Ari. There's not many things that seem "normal" to us these days, but having Eli at our house, just hanging out, is one of the best parts of being home. He has hardly missed a day, and when he's not around, I notice it! Thank you, Eli, for being there - for all of us! Also, in relating the story of attending the Alumni hockey game, I neglected to say "Thanks" to all those involved in the association and the game for including Darren as you did. From giving him jerseys, to dedicating the game to him, to including him in the team picture, you really made him feel a part of the whole event. That's what made the evening special - it wasn't just another game. For all of those who have been praying for us, I wanted you to know that I am praying, too, as has been evident to you in my prior e-mails, I think. I wanted to take this opportunity to thank my friend Betty, and her husband Rick for inspiring a new connection to my faith. Betty bought a beautiful Bible for me when she visited in Atlanta, and I have been reading it each night, along with the Purpose Driven Life. When I feel I just can't keep going, faith is helping me stay strong and focused. Thanks also to the Regan’s for bringing me to Church and to the whole congregation for making me feel welcome. Well, I know this all sounds sappy today, but that's how I'm feeling, and I thought it helpful to express. Remember, these e-mails are as much for me, as all of you! Thanks to all of you for "being there." Til next time, with love and prayers, Cynthia

December 5

I can hardly contain my emotion as I write this - Darren moved a toe this morning!!!! I wasn't here to see it myself - doesn't that figure? - but I was at church....John was getting Darren bathed and dressed this morning when John told him to try to move his toes. At first he couldn't, but then a few minutes later, Darren said he thought he could move a toe, and he did! I believe in the power of prayer, and that our collective prayers are working. While the healing process may be slow, it is happening, that's the good news. Whew! Now I forget whatever else I was going to write about today!

Well, there are fund raising events that are being scheduled that I'd like to pass along the information on. There's a band concert that is scheduled for Jan 7th - see attachment. Then there's Casino Night on March 4th - see attachment on that, too. Then there's a marathon/two-woman team half-marathon on April 10th. I don't have information on that electronically (yet) but will send that along as soon as I can.

What else is happening: Therapy went well at Kessler this week. Feels like we are getting into the routine. Looks like the elevator was finished today. We are waiting for an inspection tomorrow (Monday) and hopefully will be using it right away. I can't thank Steve Masterson and crew enough for all of the time he put into this project, and it was a project! Thank you to his wife and family for sacrificing time that I'm sure he would have spent with them to work on this. We truly appreciate his dedication to getting it finished.

Saturday we went to Giants Stadium to see Butler High School play Westwood for the championship. Butler lost, but we had a good time anyway. We were fortunate to be in a suite for the game, and had a great view of the field. Unfortunately, we didn't see the other fans, so maybe some of you were there, too, that I missed seeing.

Sunday, it was back to Giants Stadium to see the Jets! John took Darren, Ari and Eli while I had a bit of a break to do some shopping. Since they won, it was great! Thanks to Bernie Schick for asking Herm Edwards for tickets. 

Now, a request: I am looking for volunteers to drive Darren to Kessler on Fridays. I don't need too many, but if anyone is available from 12 noon til 4 pm on a particular Friday, starting Dec 17, I would love to hear from you. I could show you how to get Darren in and out of our van, and everything else you need to know before you actually take him. It's not complicated, and would only take a few minutes. I'm not sure of the Kessler schedule for Dec 24 and 31, but I will check this week.

Also, there was a very nice article in today's Trends. I will try to scan it and attach it to my next update.

Gotta run - want to watch "The Five People You'll Meet in Heaven" - a TV movie based on the book by Mitch Albom. I liked the book; hopefully the movie will be good, too!

With love, hope and prayers (and more prayers....)

Cynthia 

December 14

Hi everyone, no, you haven't missed any updates, I just haven't written in more than a week. My apologies, and its to myself as much as to you. Each day starts blending into the next, and I can't remember what happened! Anyway, I'll do my best.

So Darren's toes on his right foot continue to move, ever so slightly, but at will. He thinks his toes on his left foot are moving, but we can't see them moving - yet. I am positive they will start moving soon, too. Seeing that more healing is taking place is so positive, and I truly believe it will continue. Yes, our prayers continue to work!

It's been a week now that the elevator is operational and Darren is in his new room! Lots of helping hands came to our assistance to help move him upstairs and then put our room back together for us. It all went very quickly and smoothly. Of course, he loves his new digs! With smooth linoleum flooring and tile in the bathroom, he is able to roll around quite easily. And even though there is carpet thru the upstairs living room and into the computer area, he is getting better at going over it with his manual chair. He is getting stronger and able to do more things easier now. He wants to be able to transfer from his manual chair to the power chair by himself, so that is something to work on. Then he can buzz around upstairs as much as he wants without wearing himself out. Moving upstairs also meant taking showers in his new roll-in shower area! He was grinning ear to ear while letting the water pour down on him! Oh, the things we take for granted..............

Therapy at Kessler is going well. Darren works hard each and every time he goes, and he practices newly learned skills at home. This morning, he transferred himself from the bed to his chair with no assistance from me, just spotting. And he can go from his chair to the therapy mat in his room with no assistance as well. When the transfer surfaces are even or downhill, he can do it himself, as he's getting stronger and more confident in his abilities. Having the therapy mat is great, as he can prone (lay on his stomach), stretch and balance on the edge - all good things to do. He is starting to "pop wheelies" so he can get over uneven door thresholds and in and out of the elevator, too.

A physical therapist has come to the house twice so far, and will come 2 more times, as per insurance coverage. It is great to have him here, working on equipment and skills right in Darren's own environment. We will also have an OT come to the house 4 times, to work on daily living skills as Darren actually does them. After that, I am investigating options for the future - either a PT or a personal trainer for an extended period of time to really help Darren strengthen and improve. In the meantime, some friends are helping with stretches, exercises and games - all very beneficial to his development.

Darren is helping to coach the Kinnelon Bantam Hockey Team, mostly 7th and 8th graders. He's gone to one practice and one game so far, and really seemed to enjoy it. He said the kids were great, and he really feels that he'll be able to teach them things that they'll understand and use. Thanks to Coaches Tim and Andrew for making this happen. I always thought Darren would make a good coach because he understands the game so well, and now he has that chance. He looks forward to making most of the future practices and games, too, as long as they're not too early in the morning!

(See what happens when I don't write in a long time - the update is endless....................)

Last Saturday was a long and busy day that started with a bantam hockey game earlier than our usual morning routine would allow (but Darren was determined!), he got a back and shoulder massage in the afternoon (felt VERY good, he said!), went to the Christmas Candlelight concert at the Smoke Rise Community Church with me (beautiful music and singing to get us in the Christmas spirit), then ended with the High School Hockey reception and game that night. Whew, that was a busy day! But Darren enjoyed every minute, and it was great for more people to see him and for him to see them.

Sunday was the Christmas decorating day, and it was with some reluctance that I dragged out the boxes and the tree. Just isn't the same, but I couldn't not do it, either. So I just did the minimum, and didn't wear myself out with it. What goes up must come down, so I was careful not to do too much.

A home health aide started yesterday to help with the morning care. I am hopeful it will work out OK, and look forward to getting a break on some mornings.

Yesterday, Darren & I spent some time on the computer exploring CLEP exams for college credit and online courses. Within an hour or so of filling out some forms, he received phone calls from 2 of the schools! He chatted with them about his goals and is closer to making a decision on how to proceed. He certainly is motivated.

Today, Darren had a visit with his doctor (a physiatrist) at Kessler. She was very excited upon hearing of the toe movement, and declared that he would now be considered an ASIA C - great news in my book! He was originally an A, the worst level of injury. She spoke to him about his future plans for school, driving, etc., and was very positive about his progress.

Well, I thought I was tired before I started writing - today was another long day - but I managed to write even more than I had envisioned. Thank you for allowing me to share our days with you, as well as our hopes and dreams. You continue to keep me going, even when I don't feel much like it. Your support with meals, driving, and visits, as well as your on-going e-mails are greatly appreciated, even when I can't respond individually. I hope you know how much your offerings of help mean to all of us.

I continue to take one day at a time. Some days are more tiring than others, but somehow we make it through. After all, if Darren is smiling and positive most all of the time, how can I not be?

With love, hope and prayers, especially during this Holiday Season,

Cynthia

December 21

Hello everyone, and Merry Christmas!

Knowing my recent track record of infrequent updates, I'm sure this will be my last one before Christmas. I want to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas, and may you enjoy the holidays with family and friends.

Our routine is coming along here at home, but with a little twist this week. A home health aide started last week, and I think she is going to work out fine. However, she is now sick and will be out all of this week. I was hoping to really have her trained well by the end of the year, but now this will set us back a bit. I'm disappointed not to have the help, but I am hopeful it will work out in the long run. We'll see.

Our good friend Randy Velischek (former NJ Devils player and current radio commentator) put together a WONDERFUL day for us on Sunday. He brought a current Devils player, Tommy Albelin, and former players John MacLean and Ken Daneyko to our house for a visit! The guys couldn't have been nicer. They sat, visited, ate and chatted for quite awhile. We thoroughly enjoyed their visit, especially the fact they gave up a Sunday afternoon to come and see Darren. What a treat! I've attached a few pictures that we took that afternoon. I hope you can open them! An early Christmas present.

Therapy at Kessler is going well, also. Darren now reminisces about how hard it used to be to put on a t-shirt, or get one off. Now he does these things, and more, so easily. When it doesn't seem like progress is made each day, we have to look back and remember how far he's come. Now when he transfers from his chair to the therapy mat, he doesn't even use the sliding board, so he knows he's getting stronger.

In just a few days, it will be 5 months since his injury. I don't know how I feel about that. It seems so long ago, yet it seems like yesterday, too. The progress seems so slow, yet look at the differences in what he can do. I continue to take each day at a time, trying not to get ahead of myself or the situation. During the day, I can focus on that with the daily tasks, but at night, when my head hits the pillow is when the tears come. The only way to calm my fears, to ease my pain, to lessen the burden is to say my prayers. To know there is a force more powerful than all of us put together, to believe that there is a plan though I don't know what it is, and don't understand it, to think positive thoughts with all my heart - this is what puts me to sleep. And with Christmas approaching, I wish for so much more than I ever knew one could wish for. To wish for things I've always taken for granted. To want those things it seems like everyone else has. Wishes, prayers and dreams all wrapped into one. I think of these things at night, so I can wake up in the morning, ready to tackle another day.

The reason I can tackle each day anew is through all of you and your help. It just occurred to me that all the "gifts" I've been receiving - dinners, transportation, errands, shopping, etc. - are all the same. They are all gifts of "time." Not having to shop for the groceries, not having to cook the meals, not having to drive each and every day gives me time. I am so grateful to ALL of you who have given us your time - a very precious commodity - so that we may have a little more of ours freed up. I apologize for not calling each and every one of you for the meals and other goodies and gifts we've received. Please know how thankful we continue to be for your care, concern and support.

For those of you not on our Christmas card list, our annual photo is attached to this e-mail. It comes to you with wishes for a wonderful, joyous holiday season.

With love, prayers and hope for recovery,

Cynthia

PS I wasn't able to attach the pictures - not enough room in the mailbox. Sorry. Maybe I can re-format them and send them in the future.

December 22 

Happy Holidays!

As we look forward to sharing Christmas with our family and friends, I am reminded once again of all we have to be thankful for. May the peace and joy of the season be celebrated with love and blessings. 

Cynthia

December 29

Hi everyone, and I hope you all had a Merry Christmas (at last those who celebrate!).

We had a wonderful three days of Christmas. It started with Christmas Eve lunch here at our house with our good friends, the DeMarco family. They used to be a family of four, now they are eight! Both Dawn and Shelley are married, and Dawn and her husband Dan brought their one-month old twin boys. It was wonderful to see them and the babies. Christmas Eve dinner was once again a success as we celebrated with the Schicks, Rathyens and Naseefs (Ralph and Lucille's daughter and her husband George). It was, as always, a lovely evening of food, wine and conversation. Christmas morning was spent opening presents by ourselves, until my family joined us at lunch. More presents, food and a good jigsaw puzzle! Then onto Grandma's for dinner (and more presents!). But it wasn't over yet! On Sunday, we went to my sister Michele's for lunch (yummy beef brisket) and then to the Feredjian's (our neighbors) for another wonderful gathering of friends and food. Whew! It was a busy, but good three days. When you have family and friends to celebrate with and spend time with, that's makes all the difference. We are so lucky to have the traditions we do, and thankful we could once again be all together to appreciate each other's company. Now we are recuperating.........

This morning when I was getting Darren up, he asked for his slippers instead of his sneakers. Sometimes he just wears his slippers til its time to go out, so I didn't think much of it. Later, I went up in his room to do some laundry, and he's completely bent over in his chair. His backpack is half off of his chair, and his stretchy loops are out (I knew I had put them in his pack for therapy today). He already had one sneaker on, and was working on the other! It was really hard for him, but I didn't offer to help, just remarked how impressed I was. I went about my business, and later, he had both sneakers on and loops were back in his pouch. I was really impressed with all of that! He continues to be so motivated and determined. Of course, he has his frustrating moments when he is trying really hard to do something and he can't quite do it, but he never gives up.

The jigsaw puzzle Michele gave to Ari on Christmas inspired Darren to want to do another, so a new one - 2000 pieces! - is now spread out on the kitchen table. Its great therapy for Darren to manipulate the pieces, and its a fun thing to do for me, too. If anyone stops by, we invite them to help! We'll see how long this one takes; I have a feeling it will be awhile....

In the meantime, Darren is closer to signing up for an online course for the spring semester. It will probably be an intro course of some sort, similar to what he would have taken as a freshmen. He's looking forward to doing it, and I think it will be a very good thing to get his mind working again. I'll let you know what he signs up for.

As the year winds down, I wish all of you a happy and healthy new year. I look forward to many positive changes in 2005, and hope for a physical, emotional and spiritual renewal as the new year begins. I wish the same for you, your families and loved ones.

Love,

Cynthia

January 4

Wow, January 4th! Happy New Year everyone. I hope you enjoyed the holiday.

I'm writing this as I'm "on hold" with the insurance company. Not for Darren, this time, but for Ari. Just minutes after I wrote the last update, I received one of those dreaded phone calls from your child that something is wrong. This one came from Mountain Creek, where Ari had been ski racing. She had fallen and twisted her knee. A week later, and its still swollen and painful. We are trying to make an appt. for an MRI, but the new process of getting a pre-certification and help in making the appointment has frustrated me all day today. I guess if I write long enough, maybe they'll pick up eventually. At least I'm doing something productive while waiting.

So in the meantime, Ari is hobbling around on crutches, dreading what might be wrong with her knee. Let's hope its something minor and she can get back on her skis as soon as possible.

Speaking of insurance, I was notified today that they will cover a piece of equipment for Darren - a standing machine. Yea!!! It will be really good for him to get used to standing, as it will stretch out his hips and legs, and the weight bearing aspect is important also. So that is good news today!

Well, our home health aide is back, and its wonderful to have the help. She is a fast learner, and very thorough and careful in her care of Darren. Between her 3 hours in the morning, and friends taking Darren to Kessler some afternoons, I am getting time for myself to get office work done, run errands, etc. More sense of a routine, which is coming in bits and pieces. At least its coming, and I am thankful for that.

Darren's spirits continue to stay positive, and he is working at being more and more independent everyday. With proper set-up, which is easier now in the accessible bathroom, he can do his own catheters several times a day. Its just a matter of figuring how to set things up, and where, and how to make things as easy and convenient as possible. Its not only easier for us (me and John) but so much better for his own sense of accomplishment and independence. So he continues to work hard at all kinds of skills.

Our 2000 piece puzzle continues to keep us busy, and is another good form of therapy for Darren as well. It gives us something to do in between other activities, and we sit and chat while doing it. (I've just been disconnected from the ins. co. and now had to re-dial and start all over again...)

A little FYI for the following families: you have containers and/or plates on my front porch waiting for you - the Weingartens, Wheales and Kobylarz. As always, thanks to you and all the other food donors. We continue to get the BEST meals!

Well, my call still hasn't been answered by a live person (its been 45 minutes now), and I'm afraid by the time they do pick up, if they ever do, that the MRI place will be closed and we won't be able to do the scheduling anyway. Oy, how frustrating. I guess it will be tomorrow's business.........

With love, hope and prayers for future recovery,

Cynthia

January 8

Just to mix things up a little bit, this is Ari, and I just wanted to say a few things about the concert. My mom will fill you in on more details about Darren soon.

Unfortunately, I waited until Roots of Rebellion, the last band, was finished playing when I went on stage to say my thanks. By that time a lot of the audience had filtered out and only a fraction of the people were still there. So for those of you who didn’t here, I just thanked Mr. Wubbenhorst and the KHS Alumni Association for putting on such an amazing show. All three bands did an outstanding job and performed fantastically. Also, Mrs. Torriello and the Principle’s Ambassadors did an awesome job with ticket sales and advertising. The concert was actually over-sold, and there was little standing area left, to believe it or not. I am truly amazed at the number of community members that came out to this event, and there’s nothing more heart warming then that. It’s really comforting to have the entire community behind my family, and it really helps us along everyday. Not only Kinnelon residents attended this concert either. Many family friends from surrounding towns came, including our ski family that we have been a part of for the last several years.

Hopefully most you that were there saw Darren, as he was anxious to see a lot of people.

Another huge thanks to the Wubbenhorst’s who did an outstanding job putting the night together, your efforts are really appreciated. Thanks to everyone who came out to the concert, what a night to remember…

Much love, Ari

January 10

Hello everyone!

First off, a very special Happy Birthday wish to my good friend and neighbor, Carol Gordon. Many of you have "met" Carol through e-mails and phone calls while she was helping with the e-mail updates and the dinner arrangements. Here's a "shout out" as all of you kids would say!

I want to tell you about the events of last Wednesday, but they are routine compared to the wonderful concert this past Friday night. So I'll start with the concert and work my way backwards!

As the song says "Oh, what a night!" Everything about it was perfect, from the pre-concert dinner at the Regans to the kids being at our house afterwards, and everything in between. Andy Wubbenhorst did a fantastic job pulling it all together, and it was a huge success. I have an idea of some of the people who were involved in the many aspects of the evening, but instead of mentioning some and leaving out others, I hope you all accept our THANKS without naming names. Our thanks, too, to the bands and their "behind the scenes" people who gave us the music. Suffice it to say that I know an event like that takes much planning, and we truly appreciate all of your efforts, large and small alike. Thanks also to all those who placed ads and messages in the program. What a surprise to see some names we haven't heard from in a while. Everyone was so generous and supportive.

It was so good to see so many people, and for so many people to see Darren as well. I have to admit it did feel kind of strange to sit there listening while people said our names, realizing this was all for US. Strange, but heart-warming at the same time. Once I got past that, I enjoyed seeing everyone, dancing, and socializing. The hugs were the best! And to see so many people go and talk with Darren was great, too. I know he enjoyed seeing everyone. 

Not only was it great to realize that so many Kinnelon residents supported us, but friends from afar who traveled here just for the event. That was really special. It was an evening to be remembered for a long, long time!

Now back to last Wednesday! Darren woke up that morning and said "I want to have a really productive day today." (No kidding, he said exactly that.) I asked him what he meant by productive, and he proceeded to tell me that he wanted to get on the mat to do exercises, use the electric stimulation on his triceps, register for his on-line course and read. I thought it seemed like a lot, but OK, who was I to discourage him? So after the morning routine of his care and shower, he wanted to dress himself. He always puts on his t-shirt, but that morning he wanted to put on his pants. I think he wanted to practice this, because an OT was scheduled to come on Friday to work on just that. So work he did, and with minimum assistance, he was successful in getting his pants almost all the way on. After that, he wanted to roll himself and get into a sitting position, and get himself out of the bed. (All the while I'm thinking - well, he wanted to be productive today...) Keep in mind that these are all tasks we can do ourselves with a minimum amount of effort. Not so with Darren. He works and struggles to do these things, and each time he does them, he gets better and better. But they are very tiring. Anyway, Grandma Millie was here for the end of the dressing and the rest of the routine, and she was very impressed. She is his biggest cheerleader (next to me, of course!) and was clapping for him. She gave him even more inspiration, and kept him smiling, too.

Later that day, Arek came over to do his stretches and exercises with him, and he also signed up for his on-line course and ordered his books. That evening, another friend came over and worked on his arms and shoulders. He also managed to do some reading. He figures he needs to get back into that! He's reading The Dennis Byrd Story. 

I think I might even be leaving something out that he did, because by the end of the day, he was truly exhausted! Talk about a productive day! He accomplished his goals, and then some. He was quite proud of himself, and so was I. He was like that energizer bunny that day. And he had therapy and went to the fitness center the day before, then had therapy both Thursday and Friday. Also on Friday morning, the OT did come, and he worked some more on dressing. You can imagine that this weekend, he took it easy. Deservedly so!! (Except for the concert, friends over afterward, the JETS game and more friends, and 2 Bantam hockey games to help coach - was that taking it easy???) Then the routine started all over again today, with the OT here again for MORE dressing! And today it was even easier and faster. The whole idea is "problem solving" to see what works, and what doesn't, and see what makes the tasks easier. Whew, I feel tired just re-living the whole thing!

I hope I give you a little bit of insight into what Darren does on a daily basis. Things like getting out of bed, taking a shower, getting into the car - things that take us just a few minutes - take lots more time for him. But every day, there is improvement and progress. And every day, he does more and more for himself. As we take each day at a time, I am thankful each and every day that he is motivated, determined and in such good spirits. I hope for those of you that got to see him at the concert, or have seen him here at home, or out and about, you get a sense of who Darren really is. If I might say so myself, he is a wonderful kid. I am truly proud of him and all that he has accomplished.

Thanks to all of you for your continued support. With so many people pulling for us, I know great things are possible.

With love and prayers,

Cynthia

January 14

Hi everyone, I think this is going to a "Templeton Family" update today - what a great way to spread news!

Happy 17th Birthday to our wonderful daughter, Arianne. Today she passed her driving test! Yea!!! I was so glad she did, after finding out that her ACL (ligament) is torn in her knee and surgery might be needed, she did not need another disappointment. So passing the driving test was a good thing! She has an appt a week from today with a knee specialist, so we will discuss options then. In the meantime, she will start PT today.

A few follow-up comments on last week's concert. Only a few adults were left when Ari got up on-stage to thank everyone, but from what I hear she did a great job. Even John & I were in the hallway, so we didn't hear either. But I am so proud of her for doing that. Good job, Ari!

If anyone has any of the Trends or Daily Record articles and pictures that were published either before or after the concert, could you please e-mail me? I only have the Record article the day before, but I understand there was a picture the day before that (Wed), and also Trends articles before and after. So please let me know if you have an extra copy I might be able to have.

A lot of Darren's friends are going back to college soon, and I just want to say a huge THANK YOU to all of them, including those that are home and commuting locally.  They are all great kids, spending time and going out with him. You might think that, well, they'd do that anyway. But sometimes kids have a hard time with situations like this, and don't know what to do or how to do it. Not his friends. They have been there for him, and as his mom, I say THANKS!!!

Not much other news to report, except to look for Sunday's Star Ledger, where John was interviewed about the non-hockey season, and a photographer came to take a picture of both John and Darren.

With love and prayers,

Cynthia

Sunday, January 16, 2005

NHL season appears lost

BY RICH CHERE

Star-Ledger Staff

Neither the NHL nor the players' union needs an official drop-dead date to kill any last chance at playing hockey this season.

It now seems likely the 2004-05 season will be lost while both sides remain firm in their fight over a salary cap. Originally, yesterday was thought to be the unofficial drop-dead date for a 40-game schedule, but if there is no new collective bargaining agreement by Feb. 1, it will be impossible to play an abridged season of just 32 games. Commissioner Gary Bettman has said there will be no hockey in July.

"I honestly don't think they're ever going to cancel the season for legal reasons," Devils player representative Brian Rafalski said last week. "But unless they come up with something different, I don't see anything happening. Are we just about out of time for this season? Yes."

The Players' Association, which has made significant concessions in a proposal to roll back salaries 24 percent, will not discuss a salary cap and says the next move must come from the league.

Bettman and the owners made a counteroffer of a salary rollback scale from 15-35 percent and the elimination of salary arbitration, but that was rejected by the players. Bettman says no new proposal is in the works and the owners remain adamant about dealing with cost certainty through a salary cap.

"Collective bargaining is a dynamic process, but I continue to believe the onus is on the union," NHL chief legal officer Bill Daly said via an e-mail reply. "We've looked at several scheduling scenarios and, while I'm not prepared to be specific as to how many games would need to be played to create a legitimate schedule, I do believe we're into a very critical time period if there is any hope of playing games this year."

As the lockout nears the four-month mark, here's a look at those affected:

THE GENERAL MANAGER

Taking the NHL away from Devils general manager Lou Lamoriello is a lot like taking a steak out of the mouth of a hungry dog. He is not happy.

"Do I have more free time? I sure do," Lamoriello said with a tinge of bitterness. "Maybe the people in the office wish I wasn't around as much. I'm sure they'd like to see me on the road more."

Lamoriello has done his best to keep busy. In addition to his role on the NHL's labor team, Lamoriello has monitored the Devils' draft picks, attended the world junior championships in North Dakota and has seen many more minor-league games than usual. He also has concentrated on the proposed new arena in Newark.

But without the Devils, one of the game's hardest-working GMs undoubtedly has felt withdrawal symptoms. He attends virtually every game (home and away), every practice and jets off to see other games on off-nights.

"I think it's been hard on everybody -- the players, employees, the office staff," he said. "It's hard on a lot of people, and I feel for them. When you see where we are, the potential for the season not happening is real. It doesn't look good, but everything should be between the commissioner and Bob Goodenow."

Lamoriello said he stills speaks with other GMs, "but not about hockey. There are friendships as well." And he speaks daily with Devils owner Jeff Vanderbeek about the new arena.

"My work habits haven't changed," Lamoriello said. "The only change is, unfortunately, I'm not seeing what I have the passion for -- the games and practices."

Lamoriello has avoided layoffs and continues to pay his radio broadcasters and office staff. But, he admits, the toughest days may be ahead if a shortened schedule cannot be played. Cuts will need to be made.

"We haven't had to do anything yet, but we will shortly," he said.

THE PLAYER

It was a perfect summer for Devils defenseman Scott Niedermayer. First, he won the Norris Trophy as the NHL's top defenseman and then an arbitrator awarded him a one-year contract worth $7 million, a substantial increase from the $4 million he made last season. Finally, he helped Team Canada win the World Cup of Hockey in September.

But Niedermayer never got to enjoy his status as the best defenseman in the league, and has seen millions of dollars disappear during the lockout.

"I'm not going to complain," Niedermayer said from his home in British Columbia. "I've been playing a long time, I have had success on the ice and been paid well for it. Obviously, the contract I signed was the biggest I would have made. It's too bad for sure, but that's the way it goes."

Niedermayer, who has lost approximately $3.5 million, said everyone has endured disappointments.

"Look at Tampa Bay," he said. "They win the Stanley Cup and they don't get to put up their banner right away. I don't know how they got their rings. This is definitely not what anyone would want. The majority of hockey players want to be on the ice."

Niedermayer has made the best of his time off, however. He and his wife, Lisa, spent several weeks vacationing in Hawaii and he enjoyed Christmas and New Year's at home.

"Quite enjoyable, actually," Niedermayer said. "When you have three kids, it's not too difficult to find things to do. Do I miss (hockey)? Yes. Did I miss training camp? No. But I'm used to playing hockey at this time of year, so it is strange. I've tried not to think about it a whole lot.

"During the last lockout, I always thought it was about to end. This time I'm taking the approach that when the call comes, it comes. That's the only way to make it a bit easier."

THE MINOR-LEAGUE EXECUTIVE

With the NHL out of sight, minor-league hockey has been out of mind for most fans.

Back in October, minor-league executives thought NHL fans hungry for hockey would start attending minor-league games. Some have, but most have not.

Mike Miller, vice president and general manager of the Toledo Storm of the ECHL was one of those who expected his club to benefit from the lockout.

"I've kind of changed my tune the last few weeks," Miller said. "We have not seen a change in our gate in relation to the lockout. I thought the NHL lockout would have helped business for a majority of minor-league teams. Here in Toledo, it's had the opposite effect.

"We're south of something called Hockeytown. I think hockey being on TV every night and the Detroit Red Wings playing got people thinking about hockey and it helped us. An NHL game is a 2 1/2-hour infomercial for us reminding people of hockey. But I don't hear a lot of hockey talk. Hockey isn't on people's minds."

Miller said some fans were uncertain about whether the lockout extended beyond the NHL to the minors. That confusion does not seem to be a problem, but getting fans interested without the high-profile NHL remains a concern.

THE REFEREE

No one has refereed more NHL games than Kerry Fraser. This would have been his 30th NHL training camp had it not been for the lockout.

But the respected referee is getting himself prepared to be a full-time real estate agent if the season is canceled. Fraser and his wife, Kathy, earned their real estate licenses during the lockout in 1994 and are ready to fall back on that profession.

"Until we get the final notification, I am optimistic," Fraser said. "So much is at stake, it's in everybody's interest to find a resolution. But there's a lot of anxiety. As much as I'm trying to stay upbeat and positive, there are also those moments.

"Forget the money we're losing. If the season is a wash, we're not going to replace that $300,000 we're losing. But age also becomes a factor. You can't do this forever."

Fraser, 52, has used his free time to work on projects around his South Jersey home.

He was told by an electrician that 55 feet of trenches three feet deep had to be dug from the house to the coach lamps, so Fraser did the digging himself with a pick and shovel.

Then, the driveway needed repair. When he saw a contractor jump out of his backhoe to toss chunks of the driveway into the bucket, he put on his work clothes and offered to do the job.

"The contractor said, 'You'd better be careful, you might break a fingernail," Fraser said. "I didn't bother even putting gloves on. I did the job and then went inside and checked my fingernails."

Fellow ref Bill McCreary is doing carpentry work with a kitchen cabinet maker. Don Van Massenhoven is selling cars in his hometown in Ontario. And Rob Shick is supervising amateur officials as a volunteer.

Fraser and his wife have become ecclesiastical ministers.

"It's frustrating for all of us in every facet of the game," Fraser said. "We're trying not to buy a ticket on the roller-coaster ride. If you let this disruption wreak havoc on you emotionally, it affects how you feel, your family and the people around you."

THE FAN

Longtime Devils season ticket-holder John Templeton will not look back on 2004 fondly. At the end of July, the Kinnelon resident's 18-year-old son, Darren, was injured in a diving accident at the Jersey Shore and remains paralyzed below the waist.

The NHL's labor issues weren't foremost on Templeton's mind as his son began therapy, but father and son have shared hockey since Darren, then a 4-year-old, attended his first Devils game.

"We're missing it for sure," Templeton said. "It's our main sport. For 20-something years, my winters have centered around hockey. It's a big void. We never paid attention to other sports, but I've become a Nets fan.

"It's been a really difficult year for us. In a way, not having hockey might have been a godsend. I probably would've wound up giving lots of tickets away."

The Templetons have had more contact with the Devils than most. Lamoriello has called many times to ask about Darren. Several members of the organization have visited.

Templeton, who has attended around 35 games a year since 1983, guesses there won't be an NHL season and says Darren misses watching games on TV. When the league comes back, father and son will return to the Meadowlands but won't follow the team to Newark.

"The lockout won't (sour) me," Templeton said, "but the Devils moving to Newark will. I don't want to see that happen at all. That would probably be the end of my tickets."

THE TICKET GUY

Ron Vanderveen's job as general manager of Continental Airlines Arena is to make sure the building is as busy as possible.

This time of year, that usually means trying to find a concert or a family show, such as the circus, to rent the building months from now because the Nets, Devils or Seton Hall are usually using the place.

But with the Devils on the bench because of the NHL lockout, Vanderveen is having a year like no other, wearing out the buttons on his phone pad as he tries to book some 25 prime nights when hockey won't take place there without a last-minute labor settlement.

"It sure is interesting," Vanderveen said. "It's a lot easier to do this job when you know for sure what dates are going to be available."

Instead, Vanderveen is booking acts that will agree to postpone their shows if hockey returns, such as the religious singer Steven Curtis Chapman, who agreed in December to perform at the arena on Feb. 26, assuming the Devils won't be playing the Islanders that night, as they were supposed to.

During the fall, the NHL would only release arena dates within 45 days, but Vanderveen and others have already begun booking dates much further out than that. For instance, Vanderveen normally wouldn't have booked any dates the week of April 13, when the NHL playoffs are supposed to begin. Now he's got Cher coming on April 13, Rod Stewart on the 15th and probably an Indian concert the next night.

It's not the Dave Matthews Band, but right now the arena will take what it can get.

"Usually we're booking shows six to eight months in advance," Vanderveen said. "There is only so much you can do on one to two months notice."

Staff writer Matthew Futterman contributed to this report.

January 23

Hello everyone,

Today it is 6 months since Darren's injury. I think the 23rd of every month will bring tears to my eyes as I remember the day that changed our lives. I can't imagine it ever being easy, but I am hopeful it will be. At least I hope it gets better than it is today.

While I have no new news to report, I will say that every day, Darren gets stronger and stronger and is able to do more and more for himself. He is still very determined to do things himself, and believes he will recover. His positive attitude continues.